Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

Talk to the hand... If you have any questions --> consult my middle finger

Is in a very pissy mood. Proceed with extreme caution.

Hey guess what... I don't give a sh!t anymore

I am a simple person.. I like to mind my own business...but mess with what is mine..then you are my business--and you wont like it.

I'm going to just laugh. Not get mad just laugh! But please be warned that does not mean you will not get punched in the face while i am laughing!!!

All your problems with me are now diverted to ireallycouldn'tgiveaflyingfuck.com

When it comes down to it, it's not hard to figure out who your real friends are. It's all about distinguishing the liars from those who are honest.

You assume you've made me angry. I assume you think i care.

No, i don't have a licence to kill. I do, however, have a learner's permit...i suggest you shut up now...

Will not sit down, shut up, and smile like there's nothing wrong. I will stand up, shout, and scream for what i believe is right! You are wrong!

Okay... Just need to get this out. I'm angry, pissed off, upset, frustrated, and irritated. No reason.. Just am. Don't ask why... Cuz i don't know. Pffft.

There comes a point in your life when you realize that you're tired of trying and it's time to cut your losses and let go. I have reached that point

I really want to say some bad words that i have been holding in, but i'll continue to bite my tongue for as long as i can... I may soon need a new tongue!

Can go from zero to psycho in one text msg flat.

Don't test my patience...if i lose my patience you will become patient ...

I started off in a great mood today. Then, people started coming along and pissing me off.

Some people need 2 wear a diaper on their face for all the sh*t that's always coming from their mouths

Is really sick and tired of being the one that gets f*cked over!

Don't mistake my kindness for weakness, my ability to look over things as ignorance - but make no mistake, when i've had enough, i'm done!

Using a cattle prod or shock collar on a couple of people is looking so good right now..

Stunned, shocked, disappointed, upset, frustrated, angry as hell and totally gutted. It's all out of my hands!

Give someone an inch, they take a yard... That's when you give them a foot and shove it up their a**

Is having a "f*ck off and leave me the hell alone" kind of day! Be warned!

I've watched csi, csi miami, csi new york, and ncis,.. Do not piss me off, because i know how to get rid of all the evidence.

When i'm mad enough to cry - that's bad...when i'm so mad that crying isn't an option - watch out!

If you're worried that i might take revenge on you, well don't worry. Panic instead, cause i already did, you just don't know it yet

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