Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

I am NOT a stalker... well maybe just a little one but I promise to stay hidden so you wont notice me.. :P

ever wondered how many weirdos have printed your profile pic, put it in their wallet, and gone around telling everyone you're their girlfriend?

apparently to stalkers "f*ck off" translates into "please don't stop talking to me, i love it when you creep me out!"

You Know someones stalking your profile page when they comment on something from 2 weeks ago...

i noticed h8ers hav tha same qualites as stalkers they obsess over u, dont know when to stop and dont stop til they get wat they want, to annoy the crap outa u!

Advice: If ever you don't remember what you were doing, ask you're stalker...they'll know.

I'm not a stalker! I JUST HAPPEN TO BE IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME OK! oh by the way, your out of ice cream and dog food.

I'm not a stalker... I am an international spy on a top secret mission...

It's not stalking, it's love plus following.

My life was boring until I started stalking you!

Its not stalking! It's just very detailed research =)

'Stalking' is such a strong word, I like to call it 'intense research on an individual' by the way, you're out of milk ^_^

Is not stalking you. It is simply pure coincidence that I have moved into the tree right next to your bedroom window.