Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

If men believed in reincarnation they'd ask to come back as a spider, so they could hear a woman scream OMG LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT!

roes are red, nuts are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it is stiff, stick it in! (now that is a love poem)

roes are red, nuts are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it is stiff, stick it in! (now that is a love poem)

Never look a man in the eye while eating a corn dog.
A woman asks a man for money to buy a bra. He says "why do you need a bra, you don't have anything to put in it." she says "you wear pants, don't you?"

~ A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.

A mom is tidying her son's bedroom and finds a hidden stack of bondage and fetish magazines. She asks her husband what to do. He says DO NOT FRICKIN SPANK HIM!

So if u put Dill in the pizza dough...would that make it Dill Dough? Lol

When someone asks, "You look familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Well...do you watch porn?"

Nice guys finish last... because they make sure their women come first ;)