Christmas Funny Humor

Sunday, October 23, 2011
Posted by Taz

If some fat man snatches you up and puts you in a bag, don't worry, it's Santa collecting her HOs for Christmas. I'm sending this from her bag..bring alcohol!

well, the weather outside's delight-fulllll but my account? it's veeeeeeryyyy frightful!!
what happened to all my dough??? I DUNNO, I DUNNO I DUNNOOOOOOH !!

Christmas is when you try to get the whole dysfunctional family under the one roof and hope there won't be police involved

Dear Santa,
Listen here, I'll keep eating my deer jerky while you get me what I want for Christmas or Dancer and Dasher are next. . . make it happen fat man!

Christmas Gift Tip 1: Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make "housework" easier.

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

Christmas Gift Tip 5: Do not buy her a Weight Watchers gift certificate. Try hiring a Chippendale dancer as a personal trainer to get her motivated and fit.

"Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol"- Buddy the Elf

Let's start a Christmas song together. Whoever who reads this first gets to start it!

Snow= S-hit N-o O-ne W-ants

Dear Santa, would you give all of the boys on the NAUGHTY list..my cell number?

Naughty or Nice..decisions, decisions

You cannot have Christmas without C H R I S T. Jesus is the reason for the season!

Please don't wish me a Season's Greeting or a Happy Holiday. It's MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Let's remember where the name came from.

the gift card, the polite way to say here's $20 go get your own damn gift.

What does a Scottish epileptic have for Christmas? A Wii Fit hahaha

This year, to avoid showing favoritism to one person or another, I am getting everyone the same thing: nothing :) Enjoy your gift, I had fun shopping for it

remember do not eat the yellow snow. its tangy but not lemon- flavored.

You know those days when you just wake up and look outside, then want to go and kick Jack Frost in the snowballs?

It seems people have gotten the last few letters mixed up... It's supposed to be spread the GOSPEL... not GOSSIP

... May all your Christmas lights stay lit and all your presents be a hit. May joy & laughter deck the halls and may no one bust your Christmas Balls! lol

heres a thought. song winter wonderland. quote "are you married you say no man but you can do the job while your in town" just what does this "job" consist of

How many times can you smack an elf with a lolly pop before it becomes child abuse? Just wondering. lol


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4 comments:

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