Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

if you are really gonna let a random, fat, old guy in your house on the lord's birthday just because she brings you stuff then you are NUTS!

I have proof Santa is a stalker! Well, not really proof, but what dude knows your name, where you live, and what you want for Christmas?

Santa's theme song should be don't stop believing by journey

Dear Santa, so what i have done may have been bad but I'm pretty sure breaking and entering and stealing people's food is worse. So lets call it even!

Dear Santa, Send more money soon...being your elf is getting expensive. Merry Christmas.

Guess who's only got 3 months left? Santa

is sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it's voice activated. I'm at the shops and every time Santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number...

Oh please, Ive watched enough NCIS, CSI, NCIS LA and Criminal Justice... I know how to kill you AND make it look like Santa Clause did it

Can I have a photo of you? I wanna show Santa what I want for Christmas <3

Dear Santa: A nice single guy; funny, smart, would be really nice. Wrapping is optional. ; P

Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas this year is the body I had when I was in high school, but I can't promise I'll be good when I get it back

Dear Santa, Please forgive me. I was really looking for forward to some really cool gifts this year.
I can explain about that day back in June. I CAN, REALLY!

Dear Santa, if i send directions, will you have the reindeer poop on a certain house when you fly over it?

says Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?

she's sees you when you're sleeping. she knows when you're awake...Santa's stalking you. Call the police.

I have already started activities to get me on Santa's naughty list for next year!

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