Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

If I were you, I'd shut up. The little voices in my head are telling me to high five you in the face with a frying pan.

If you are going to unfriend me on face book, don't use your husband's/wife's Face book to still spy on me and see what i am doing ok! YOU FREAK!

Dear rude person, Your rudeness is not funny, witty, or cute. It shows off your lack of people skills. Grow up and get your head out of your rear end. Thanks!

"Be who you are and say what you feel because its mind over matter, those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."

Have you ever dealt with someone who, when they talk, the amount of stupidity that tumbles out is so overwhelming that it leaves you speechless?

Some people need to swim in a shark tank while they're having their period.

The cure for stupidity: A shock collar... It either puts an end to peoples stupidity or you can laugh from watching them flail around LMAO!

"Why don't you get a hobby? I hear running in traffic is fun!"

I vote that a pharmaceutical company should come up with a pill for those of us who deal with stupid people on a daily basis. This would be ever so helpful!

I think every day when i go to work."It has got to be illegal or some kind of O.S.H.A violation to have this many stupid people under one roof."

I hate all the "My life sucks!" statuses. Look, instead of moping around on Facebook, go change your freaking life and make it better!!