Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

you want to know why your my best friend, cuz your with me in the padded room, with comfy tight jackets and nice ghosts that give us candy!!

I love "me" so much, my Dr gave me a nice jacket that helps me hug myself!

I'm not crazy. crazy would be going outside to check the mail box every time my computer said "you got mail"

is under your bed with 15 of my best ninja squirrels mistaking your brain for a giant acorn!

is getting my cape and flippers and heading to Wally world for some hide-n-seek with the staff! ~Wanna be on my team?

I have come to the conclusion that cupcakes are just gay muffins

...never lick a cactus, it's not as fun as it looks.

blue unicorns came knocking on my door screaming "give us the orange juice and no one gets hurt!" what do i see wrong with that?? WE'RE OUT OF ORANGE JUICE!!!

..really wishes those leprechauns would stop plotting with the evil penguins behind my back...and behind the couch! Really bothersome

thinks that thinking about the thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, i think

was afraid I was losing my mind so I asked the people behind my couch and they assured me that I was still sane :)

is sitting on the sunshine bus. I'm well happy coz the windows are cherry flavoured and today's journey snack is blue crayons

if u have voices in Ur head, thats okay. if they talk to u, still ok, if u talk back... alright. if they argue, whatever. if they start winning... you need help

After years of observation,multiple hypothesis,well-structured analysis and deeply reviewed interpretations.I finally came to ONE CONCLUSION: I'M NOT NORMAL

I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day.

Sometimes I question my sanity, but then the voices in my head tell me I'm perfectly normal :)