Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

You're dating my ex. Im eating an apple would you like these left overs too?

Some people just need to take a long walk off a short pier into a ocean full of hungry man eating sharks with some man eating bears on the beach just in case.

wow...I'm glad i can finally see you for who you are...thanks for disappointing me ='/

why waste your breath when u can just give them the middle finger .

Don't worry about those who place themselves higher than others. That just means they have further to fall. And please believe, they will fall..

yes baby, I cheated on YOU. you'll [g.e.t.o.v.e.r.i.t]

when i get married, I'm gonna invite my first love to the wedding and I'm gonna stop before leaving the isle and say good games, thanks for playn with me. ;)

If I was to write a dictionary the words: JERK, FAKE, PRIDEFUL, & LIAR would all be defined by your name

How tired your arm must be, waiting for that handout...

You're either the nice guy or the a$$hole... pick one and live by it, cause you just can't be both.

is pretty sure that if she ever removed that trusty little filter from her mouth, she'd have no contact with anyone in her life.