Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

It is scientifically proven that a woman can be satisfied with only 8.5 cm. - and it doesn't matter if the card is Visa or mastercard...

Roes are red, nuts are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it is stiff, stick it in! (now that is a love poem)

Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together ;)

Once had a friend who took acid, now she thinks she's a fire truck, it's all good 'til she pisses on your lighter

My head is pounding like a hooker on payday!

I'm as bored as an armless guy watching porn!!

I think my virginity is growing back...

The sticky sweetness hits my lips, I can feel it's hot and so creamy, it slides down my throat, Oh man that first sip of coffee in the morning is awesome!;)

Understands why all meteorologists are men. They tell you to expect 10 inches and in reality you only get about half!

A couple had a fight one night when they were going to bed, Husband Taunted:Good night mother of 3 kids. Wife Replied:Good night Father of none.

It's Hump Day today! However, I haven't been humped nor done any humping! I think I'm getting ripped off. Where's the complaint dept?

A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.

The definition of trust: Two cannibals giving each other a blow job

Couldn't wait for this time,I lie in the bed,get in my favorite position reach for it and the batteries are DEAD!Now I have to get up and change the CHANNEL :)-

A husband and wife are watching TV. The husband says "I can't decide between golf and porn." The wife says "Choose porn, you already know how to golf."

Men in there 20 play football men in there 30 play cricket men in there 40 play golf have you notice the older the men the smaller the balls

Pregnancy Advice: A stork might bring you a baby, but a swallow never will.

'How many men have you slept with in your life?' a man asks his wife.
'Only you' she replies 'For the rest I was wide awake!'