Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

Honey, i am and will always will be one step ahead of you. Keep trying though.. its funny to watch u try;)

says- You know, I really would love to be able to see things from YOUR point of view, but my head won't go that far up my backside

Here's a pair of nice, sharp scissors. Now RUN!

Lives by the 3 "F" theory...If you don't F*** me, Feed me, or Finance me, your opinion does not matter.

Some people are here just to prove that the gene pool has a shallow end.

Note to Self: When you find a big bag of crazy, its best to leave it alone. O.o Even when you know its gonna be something fun to play with.

"Love people, not things; use things, not people. "

I love having SARCASTIC conversations with people who think I'm SERIOUS!!

Why do ppl think on Holidays u should put yourself out to go see them when they have had nothing to do with u through the whole year?

I may have been BLINDED by your charm, BLURRED by your stupidity, but finally I CLEARLY see that your nothing more then a waste of time.

You only have 2 choices for dinner, TAKE IT, OR LEAVE IT!! This is not Burger King, you can't have it your way!!

If I can't see the bright side of life then I might as well polish the dark side! =D

Sorry I hurt your feelings when I said you were stupid, I figured you already knew! LOL

Once upon a time in the land of Shut the Hell Up

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Some people you meet in life leave footprints on your heart, others make you want to leave a footprint on their face!

... is an angel. Break my wings and I will fly anyway... on my broom... I'm flexible like that.

is a ray of sarcastic sunshine every single day