Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

You ever have one of those: "who knows, who cares, Why even bother" type of days? Ya that is today...

i wish somebody would have warned me today that the bag of stupid people was left opened

How can I say goodbye, if you never leave

When you're good, you're good....when you're awesome - you're me ;)

My relationship is on life support... and both sides are waiting for the other to pull the plug... Ugh

has been one of those day's where the middle finger says it all ...

So it turns out that a 2nd chance is just an excuse for the other person to do the same thing again...only more stupid then the 1st time.

drinking Pepsi from a Coke glass as I walk in the out door. I'm a rebel. That's how I roll

Dear Me, I just wanted to remind you that it's okay to say "No" once in awhile. I'll let you in on a little secret-the world will go on! Love, Me

...What you call stubborn I call determination!

The chance of catching me in a good mood today are about as slim as a lion turning vegetarian.

Just put the spoon down, you don't always have to eat the whole bowl of Stupid.

HA HA HA Do you really think that I sit around and wait for you to call me, text me, or message me? Please, you need to get over yourself. You're not all that..

Please stop talking...your ignorance is showing.

asks: why when I press 1 for English, do I get an Indian at the other end of the line?

How many times do I have to be right, before they start listening to me?

u think im being sarcastic look at your face ur mom had 2 redo it because u were so ugly hahhaaaha:)

I come in the house soaking wet and am greeted by "Is it Raining?" Nope, decided to take the fish for a walk.

I really don't care if someone doesn't like me... I wasn't put on this earth to entertain anyone

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I'm blaming you

we do it in bed, on the couch, in the car and in the bathroom, I know what your thinking
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yep texting