Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

"Whenever I date a guy, I think, is the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

You can't buy love on eBay.

The sincerest love is the love of food.

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

I don't trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? 


I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate -- but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.