Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me

Mind intentionally left blank...

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Born Free........Taxed to Death.

Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.

Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'