Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

I'm not a stalker, I'm an observer. By the way, you're out of shampoo. "YOU STALK ME IN THE SHOWER?!" No I observe you in the shower.

Stalking is such a strong word,I prefer checking to see if you need another blanket.By the way you are out of milk and are you missing underwear?cause I have it

It's not called "stalking". It's called "frequenting your profile". Duh.

Facebook is a place to stalk people.. not a place to spill your life story.
Get it together!

<0><0> = Yeah that's it, I'm watchin' you!!

Good morning everyone!!! Let's get out there and make some memories. (We need SOMETHING for our status updates anyway, right? Our stalkers are counting on us!)

If anyone is currently stalking me, could you please send me some good photos of myself? I don't have any and I'm making a scrap book.

I have to update my status so my STALKER can keep up with me!!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, stalkers beware, I know Kung Fu!

Sorry to burst yur bubble hunni but keyboard courage isn't the same as regular courage.

"Stalk" is a strong term. I like to think of it as "obsessively shadowing".

Me? A stalker? Nah, I just observe...behind a tree...at night...in the rain...