Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

Do you ever have the feeling that it's gonna be one of those "I can no longer be held responsible for my actions" kind of days?

*sigh* Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield...

every day i put a fake smile on my face thinking today will be the day that every thing will be okay but in the end everything comes crashing down

Dear Cranky Mood: Go away, you weren't invited!!

It's amazing how you can have to worst day ever, but still laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull.

'm thinking I'll ride the broom carry the pitch fork while wearing my horns and bring along the voodoo doll I'm sure that Will cover all my basis

They say each day is a gift! Well I want to know where customer service is so I can return this one!! :P LOL

Do you ever have the feeling that the day is going to be Craptabulous? Yeah me too!

I"m in the mood to cause some serious destruction, mayhem, vandalism, chaos, and anarchy around town anyone wanna play??

Say goodbye to all the pain, No ugly comments in your brain, everyone gets their wish, and there is no one to miss.

Somebody please flush the handle and send this day down the toilet where it belongs. Thank you!

Today is a "throw your friends into a pit full of half-starved goth chicks" kind of day.


Dear world, you have annoyed me today, now I'm asking you nicely to stop it or we are going to have problems.

On days like today I wish that voodoo dolls were real.

Just one of those BLAH!! days.

is having one of those day where you look up and say "OK Lord I get it you can stop testing me now!"

Never blame any day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, and the worst days give you a lesson..

Looks like my chances of having a good day are Slim and None.. And Slim just went out back and shot herself in the head.

I think there is a rule about how many good days in a row a person is allowed to have in one week.. I think i exceeded mine yesterday!!

'm thinking I'll ride the broom carry the pitch fork while wearing my horns and bring along the voodoo doll I'm sure that Will cover all my basis

I am stressed out, worn out, burnt out, spaced out, and geeked out which is all making me kind of freak out! Fair warning!!