Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

Q: Why is the Apple still reporting record profits?
A: Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them!

Q: How many Apple Iphone early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!

Q: What do the latest Iphone applications do?
A: Whiten teeth and perform lasik eye surgery!

Q: According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphones overheating?
A: Downloading images of Katy Perry!

Q: What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
A: Your iphone will keep crashing!

Q: Why won't blondes take their iPhones to the bathroom?
A: Because they don't want to give away their IP address!

Q: According to a study by OKCupid, why do iPhone users still have more sex than other smartphone users?
A: Because no one has developed an app for Sex yet!

Q: Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 4 buyers?

A: It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping a call! It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls. (Saturday Night Live)

Iphone vs Android Joke:
Three Iphone engineers and three Android engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference. The Android engineers notice that the Iphone engineers bought only one ticket between them. The Android engineers ask the Iphone engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. "Watch and learn," one of the Iphone engineers tells them.

As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Iphone engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says "ticket please!" The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor. The Android engineers are impressed, and decide that's what they will do on the trip back.

Then on the return trip, the Android engineers notice that the Iphone engineers haven't bought any tickets. "How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?" they ask. "Watch and learn," one of the Iphone engineers tells them.

As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Android engineers hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the Iphone engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket please!"

Android Jokes:

- Two Android phone are walking in the desert. Which of them is 2.2?
- The one who called "Froyo".

How many Android user does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Question: Definition of an upgrade?
Answer: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

Chuck Norris runs Android on his I-Phone.

- What does a slow & lazy Android phone say?
- Force Close.

- Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
- Ok
- A white HTC Hero fell in the mud.

- Did you Nexus One help you with your homework?
- Student: No, it did it all by itself

Question: What is the difference between Android 2.1 and 2.2?
Answer: 6 months

99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
101 little bugs in the code.
101 little bugs in the code,
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code.

A: I have the perfect mate.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

Iphone Jokes: