Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

Beauty tip #37 - When you have run out of make-up, just wear a see through top and no bra...no-one will notice the make-up

is in a PMS (Pass My Shotgun, Potential Murder Suspect, Poor Me Syndrome, Psychotic Mood Shift: Take your pick and consider yourself warned) mood.

if it weren't for the gutter, your mind would be homeless

Paddy's girlfriend just got a tattoo, a seashell on the top of her inner thigh. paddy thinks its fab cos then he puts his ere 2 it he can actually smell the sea

"If the mini skirt gets any shorter...women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, & a little more hair to comb" :D

we often spend so much of our money on buying clothes... but never realize that some of the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes!

breaking up with your partner & saying "we can still be friends" is like your dog dying & your mum saying "you can still keep it"

Would you like to try and Australian Kiss??
What's that??
It's like a French Kiss except it's down under ;)

is wondering if a man took a muscle relaxer and a Viagra would that man then be Gumby with a Pokey?

often wonders if face-book poking is a form of cyber foreplay!

is It is scientifically proven that a woman can be satisfied with only 8.5 cm. - and it doesn't matter if the card is Visa or MasterCard...