Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

Mercedes Benz - A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Programmer n. - An ingenious device that turns caffeine into code.

Just Friends phrase - I don't just want you to mourn the loss; I want to remind you of it every day. I want you to suffer. I want you to envy. I want you to die slowly, a bit at a time. And I want you to smile and thank me for it.

Depression n. - Anger without enthusiasm.

Doctor - A person who kills your ills by pills, and later kills you with his bills.

Boss - Who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.


Atom Bomb -  - An invention to end all inventions. 

Rumor - News that travels more than the speed of sound. 

Classic - A book which people praise, but do not read. 

DictionaryThe only place where divorce comes before marriage.

MarriageIt's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Father - A banker provided by nature.

Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Optimist - A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river. -  -

Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Etc - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. -  -

Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.