Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

Let's face it. Some people can only be described as: "Should have been a blow job"

I can't lie. If I saw someone's status as "standing on a cliff", I'd poke them. :)

What's the definition of cruelty? Walking into a cemetery singing ah ah ah ah staying alive staying alive

I just saw something that reminded me of you.. but don't worry, I flushed the toilet and washed my hands!

You judge my life know by what you think you know, I wonder what you would say if you knew what my life was really like, Judge me after you walk in my shoes

Why does everybody automatically assume I'm a mean person??? I'm not that cruel. Well, there was that one time... And the time after that... And after that...