Happiness is watching TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
Oh Lord-give me chastity, but do not give it yet.
She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin
Divorce is the sacrament of adultery.
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
My best birth control now is to leave the lights on.
Niagara Falls is the bride's second great disappointment.
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman i when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
How I wish that Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
I was actually the first birth from an inflatable woman.
Women are like elephants - everyone likes to look at them but no one likes to have to keep one.