Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes

Never say, "oops!" Always say, "ah, interesting!"

Age is only important when it comes to dead fish and good wine.

If cars have horsepower, why don't boats have fishpower?

Is watching summer re-runs deja view?

You learn something new everyday - if you're not careful.

It's a small world - but I wouldn't want to mow it.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "why the long face?"

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award because he was out standing in his field?

Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen saying 'Parking Fine.'"

Two aerials meet on a roof fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was fantastic.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG

What do Mexicans put under their carpets? Underlay, underlay!

Don't take life too seriously, You're not getting out alive.

What streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!

With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates?

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're better now.

I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do.

Impotence: nature's way of saying, "no hard feelings."

People who claim that computers will make life easier for us have obviously never used one.

Computers come in two styles: prototype and obsolete!

With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates?

To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human; in fact it is downright natural.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Printer not ready. Do you have a pen?

Managing programmers is like herding cats.

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.